...dedicated the day to my sister.

My little sister, Meagan, suddenly passed away 6 years ago at the age of 23. Today is her birthday. She would have been 30.

I took the day off and tried to honor Meagan in all the ways I could. However, there is no amount of honor to do her justice.

Meagan (my daughter and her namesake) and I made a birthday cake to share with my family (Meagan LOVED dessert), decorated the grave and danced crazy together and laughed, just like my sister would have. I'm sure she was smiling.

I know it makes people uncomfortable when people talk about the death of their loved ones, but I am human and the truth is - the loss of my sister has made a huge impact on who I am today. I don't want to ever stop talking about her. If I did, I feel like it would make her disappear even more. Instead, I would rather be proud of being Meagan's sister and to continue to try to live by her example.

Meagan was an inspiration. She lit up rooms when she entered. She danced whenever she wanted and didn't care what anyone thought. She gave the tightest hugs to make sure you knew she loved you. She was generous to a fault. She was a daughter, a sister, a fiance, a friend, a cousin, an aunt, a niece, a granddaughter, an elementary school teacher and she was here.

I know everyone says amazing things about people they loved that died - and they should. But Meagan truly was an angel on earth. Both her wake and funeral couldn't hold all the people that wanted to attend. Though it's been 6 1/2 years since Meagan passed, I will celebrate her every year until it's my time to go.

I'm still learning from Meagan and continue strive to be more like her, but the most important thing I learned from losing her is - everything can change in an instant. It really is important for you to let those you love know it.

I love you!
(Regularly scheduled blog topics will return tomorrow)

...no weight loss yet.

To be fair, I did have a huge dinner and some of Meagan's MandMs.

Today I discovered a new favorite – Safeway's Eating Right Cookies and Creme Crisp Nutrition Bar. It was soooo good. I would actually buy this instead of a candy bar and like it just as much. However, it doesn't deserve high marks in every category.

Taste: 10
Nutrition: 8 (For such a little bar it packs a lot of fiber - 5 g. I didn't give it an excellent rating because it also has 3 g of fat. However, I do love that it's only 100 calories).
Hunger Control: 7 (Not too bad for being so small. It might be that it tastes so good it leaves you feeling like you just had a good dessert)
Cost: 6 (It's pretty expensive at it's normal price - $1. You would expect to only pay $.50 for something so small that is actually a store brand)/
Overall Score: 7.75

I also tried the Sweet Red Pepper Soup from V8. Maybe the problem is that it's a Campbell's soup. In my opinion, Campbell's soups don't have much taste. As I said yesterday - I expected so much more from V8 - especially with the Red Pepper. You expect a Red Pepper soup to be pretty intense on taste, but it seemed more like a chunky bland tomato soup with a little pepper flavor. I would not buy it again.

Taste: 3
Nutrition: 8 (I do like that it has so much fiber for a soup and only 120 calories per serving. It also has 20% of your vitamin A)
Hunger Control: 7
Cost: 4 (I wanted more for my money)
Overall Score: 5.5

I'll let you know if I lose weight tomorrow...

...decided to go on a quest for the best functional foods and drinks.

Everyday there seems to be a new product introduced that promises to make you healthier. There are beverages that are supposed to help you remove cholesterol, get more energy, lose weight, control hunger, improve memory and so on. There are health bars and soups that promise the same. The trend seems to be to add nutrition so you get more from one small snack than you would in a normal day from eating regular food.

Does this stuff work? Does any of it taste good? I decided to find out. I want to lose 6 pounds. Everyday for the next three weeks I am going to at least two new products a day. So far, I've already tried six.

I will rate them for you in case you are interested in any of these products, but afraid to spend the money (they are expensive) on something that won't work or tastes gross.

I will rate them based on taste, nutrition, hunger control and cost. I will also let you know how my weight loss is going. If I don't lose any weight, I will be pretty disappointed with this expensive experiment.

Here are the products I've tried so far:

BARS:

Clif Kid Chocolate Brownie Z Bar
I have been buying these for Meagan for months. She thinks they are candy bars so she loves them. I have loved them because they give her a bunch of fiber and other nutrients, but I never tried them until yesterday. They are actually pretty good! Here's how I rated them:

Taste: 8
Nutrition: 6 (good amount of fiber and potassium (3 g), but too many carbs
Hunger control: 7.5
Cost: 8 (they are expensive, but on sale a lot. They are also bigger than most other bars)
Overall Score: 7.375

Curves Chocolate Peanut Chewy Granola Bar
These were actually in the granola bar section rather than the health bar section. Not sure why, but it made me think they had less functional value.

Taste: 7
Nutrition: 6 (While it had 5 grams of fiber it didn't have any vitamins and it had 3.5 g of fat)
Hunger control: 6.5 (It was small)
Cost: 8.5 (They work out to be about $.50 a piece. Cheaper than most)
Overall Score: 7

Slim-Fast Optima Chocolate Peanut Nougat Bar
I was a bit afraid to try these. I never saw myself as a Slim Fast consumer, but because I was planning to compare all bars and I really like nougat, I thought I'd give them a shot.

Taste: 9.5 (These are by far the best nutrition bars I have tasted. They actually tasted just as good as a candy bar. I took off a half point though because they are too squishy and you can just pull it out of the package in one piece.)
Nutrition: 5.5 (While the box says "15 Vitamins and Minerals" they are pretty small percentages of them. Also there is only 1 g of fiber and 5 g of fat! And the bar is TINY.
Hunger Control: 4.5 (The bar was too tiny and there wasn't enough fiber. I think I will just use these as dessert replacements)
Cost: 4.5 (at almost $6 these are the most expensive in a box. I wouldn't buy them twice because there isn't enough value)
Overall Score: 6

BEVERAGES

Promise Activ Super Shots - Raspberry
I actually decided to try these because a colleague of mine got some coupons for free packages of 4. He shared one with me because he wanted my opinion. I have to say, I was scared to try them and assumed they came in teeny tiny bottles and were called "shots" because they would taste gross. I actually did shoot it as fast as I could. The after taste wasn't horrible, but it was a lot more tart than a yogurt.

Taste: 6
Nutrition: 5 (I don't really have a cholesterol problem, so there isn't a lot of value for me here. In the tiny shot it has 3.5g of fat! It is only 70 calories and does have 35% of B6 so that makes it a little better)
Hunger Control: 6 (Better than a tiny bar, but still - tiny and no fiber really)
Cost: 3 (Way too expensive for me. It was on sale for $4. That means $1 a piece and you are supposed to have 2 a day if you are trying to lower cholesterol)
Overall Score: 5

Safeway brand Weight Loss Shake - French Vanilla
If this experiment works and I actually do lose weight trying these products, I will definitely buy these shakes again. They are actually pretty yummy. I was so surprised. Like I said earlier, I wasn't really a Slim-Fast kind of person. Also, Slim-Fast shakes are expensive so I thought - why not try the store brand? I'm glad I did. I would even bother with Slim-Fast now. In fact, I don't think Safeway should be trying so hard to make their shake look like a Slim-Fast knockoff. They should just put it under the EatRight brand.

Taste: 9.5 (I couldn't bring myself to give it a full 10. I real vanilla milkshake deserves a 10)
Nutrition: 9 (I couldn't give it any higher because, while it's only 170 calories and has 5 grams of fiber, it also has 5 grams of fat.)
Hunger Control: 7.5 It works pretty well, but I wish I wasn't hungry afterward for at least a few hours. I am usually hungry within an 1 1/2 - 2 hours.
Cost: 9.5 (Of course, I would love it if these were $.50 a piece, but they are still the cheapest you will likely get that will offer what the others offer AND taste good. They cost $5 for 6 on sale from $6.
Overall Score: 8.875

SOUP

Campbell's V8 Butternut Squash
I was kind of disappointed. I saw this soup advertised in a few women's magazines and was excited to find it at Safeway. It's expensive, but I thought - if it offers all the taste of V8 juice, more nutrition than regular soup and low calories, than I will eat it all the time. So far I have only tried the Butternut Squash. I bought a few boxes of the red pepper so I am hoping I'll be happier with that.

Taste: 5 (It wasn't horrible, but nothing like the strong taste I was hoping for coming from a V8 product)
Nutrition: 8.5 (It's pretty good for a soup! It has 3 g of fiber and only 140 calories per serving, plus 40% of Vitamin A.)
Hunger Control: 8 (Not too bad. It kept me satisfied for a couple of hours.)
Cost: 8 (While it is what I would expect to pay for a functional soup, it's still expensive for a bring to work lunch so I couldn't justify giving it a higher score.
Overall Score: 7.375

So, stay tuned. I'll keep you updated on my weight loss success, or lack there of and continue testing these products so you don't have to - until you know they are good(:

Today's favorite things: Functional food and beverages done right - making weight loss easy

was sooooo tired and blamed my co-worker.

The other day my co-worker, Doug, asked me if I had been watching the show everyone's starting to talk about - Mad Men. I hadn't been and there was nothing good on TV one recent evening when I noticed past episodes were offered for free on OnDemand. I was hooked in five minutes.

The problem was I couldn't stop watching. I watched episode after episode three nights in a row and stayed up hours after I should have gone to bed because I couldn't wait to see what happened next. I was starting to look like some crazy strung out chick with dark circles under my eyes when suddenly...there were no more episodes to watch. I was caught up. This was worse! Now I actually, did have to wait to see what happened next.

The show is centered around a NY ad agency in the 60's and does a great job of portraying the sexual politics of that era. Boy.. I feel so sorry for my Mom every time I watch it. It really sucked being a woman then. If you aren't watching this show, start. It's the best thing on TV.

Today's Favorite Thing: Mad Men and all the good fall TV shows coming back

I bought a new iPhone.

Of course, no one called to return my phone so I had to go buy a new one. On the upside, the new ones are twice as big and almost twice as fast. Even better, I was able to restore everything I lost on my stolen phone from my backup on the computer. Yeah!

I'm sooo happy. Except for that $300 I didn't expect to have to spend...

I lost my iPhone!

I can't believe it.

I was so paranoid I would lose my iPhone and I have. Ugh. I'm sick.

As you know from my earlier post, I used it for everything so I lost more than just my phone and Email device.

I was shopping at Costco with my daughter. I called my Mom to see if she needed me to get something for her. About 10 minutes later I reached for my phone to check my grocery list and it was gone. Panic. I froze. I retraced my steps. A Costco employee retraced my steps again with me. I went back 3 hours later and checked again. It was gone. No one turned it in.

ATT helped me suspend my service and will make sure I don't have to pay for whatever calls someone may have tried to make with my phone after I lost it.

Tomorrow I will go buy another with money I don't really have and I will pray that my computer backed up everything I had on my phone last time it synced - notes, recordings, to do lists etc. If not , I will have a period of mourning and will be much more careful in the future to never put my phone in a pocket where it can be easily dropped or grabbed.

Sad day...sad day...

Today's favorite things: store employees who can spot a panicked Mom and offer to help like they have nothing else to do.

found the perfect breakfast for my daughter.

Usually, weekday mornings around our house are a mad rush to get everything ready for school and work. Meagan sometimes sleeps until a half hour before we have to leave and isn't in the mood to do anything but move from the bed to the couch, UNLESS...I have her favorite breakfast ready - chocolate chip pancakes.

But, as a good mother I can't feel good about giving her chocolate chip pancakes everyday. That's why I was sooo glad to find this Arrowhead Mills pancake mix at New Seasons. It's whole grain, with tons of fiber AND it's quick to make. It also actually tastes good!

Nothing will get her to the breakfast table faster and put her in a better mood in the morning that a warm chocolate chip pancake.

So, thanks Arrowhead Mills for making my mornings so much easier and for taking the guilt away from feeding my kid chocolate chip pancakes. Now, if they would just make a vitamin filled syrup...

...had a sauerkraut hangover.

Yesterday, I finally went to the Scappoose Sauerkraut Festival. I have been wanting to go for years. I love saurkraut. I could eat a bowl of it.

I was a bit disappointed though. I had imagined a huge fest like you see on the Food Network. I thought there would be booths and booths of different ways to eat sauerkraut. Sadly, there was only one tent with sausage sandwiches where and one booth that sold sauerkraut ice cream. I didn't try the ice cream. Oddly, the local Fred Meyer store had a booth where they were selling jars of sauerkraut. Sad.

They did have a cabbage bowling game you could compete in and a sauerkraut eating contest that I didn't get to see.

I know Scappoose is a small town, but this could have been such a better event. Basically, it was 1 1/2 small streets long and 1/2 of the booths were for Christian churches, Republicans or anti-abortion nutcases. I was pleasantly surprised to find an Obama booth and quickly slapped a sticker on my sweater for all the local Republicans to see.

The event was also only thing in the small town for the kids to do that day. They could get their faces painted, hair sprayed with color and climb a rock wall, eat brick fries and elephant ears, but that was pretty much the extent of it.

I did buy a beautiful necklace from a local artist, but I gotta say - I don't know that I would go to this fest twice. I think I'll try the garlic fest next...

Today's favorite things: sauerkraut and coffee (not together)

...and discovered I was fully matching my co-worker.

This seems to happen so often in our office. Probably every office. Maybe it's because many of the women have such similar tastes. I've decided to take a picture every time people on our staff end up matching each other. I think it will be fun to look back on after one year.

Last week, several of us came to work prepared for a client pitch and discovered we were all wearing only black and white. The client thought it was on purpose. That was a little embarrassing, but we made a joke of it and the client signed.

Anyway, here is our first matching photo. Stay tuned for more...

Today's favorite things: Cozy fall sweaters by Kensie

...had to go get a mammogram.

Last week my doctor found something she thought seemed a bit unusual so, to be safe, she recommended a mammogram. I had one two years ago for the same reason so I wasn't nervous going in today. I just figured it would be the same thing - odd tissue, nothing bad.

So, I got to the appointment more concerned about how much time it was taking out of my day, then the fact I could possibly have something wrong with me. I'll tell you early - I don't. It came out as I suspected, but I did have a period of fear.

My appointment was at Providence Portland's Professional Center. Everyone I came across was so nice and gentle. I think they must deal with sad situations every day.

I waited about 20 minutes in the lobby before being called in. I wondered about why each other person was there. Did they have cancer? What was possibly wrong with them? One young woman was there with both of her parents who waited with her holding her hands until she was called in. The whole time she sat with them she seemed to be trying to comfort them, rather than letting them comfort her.

My concern for time started to fade and I began to get a bit more serious about the possible outcomes.

Finally, my name was called and I was escorted to a closet sized room to change into a robe and wait to be called by a radiologist. I tried to take a picture of the room to show you, but it was so small it was impossible.

I wasn't too worried about the pain because today's mammograms are digital and almost pain free - at least for me. The radiologist asked me to place a little sticker with a metal bb on the suspicious area and she went about twisting my body in various was to take the pictures she needed. I won't go into detail, but you can imagine based on the picture I attached.

After she was done she asked me to go back to my closet and wait. I waited. And waited. And waited. 20 minutes later she came back to tell me that the doctor was busy with a procedure, but would likely want an ultrasound and would talk to me about what else she might need. I nodded politely and obediently agreed to wait longer, but when she shut my closet door again my stomach lurched. What did that mean? Was there something that showed up on my mammogram results causing more concern? I wasn't prepared for that outcome. I thought I would be in and out of there. I didn't want to get upset and assume the worst - at least I knew they were being very careful.

A few minutes later a nurse came to take me for an ultrasound. She checked me with the machine you see in the picture and silently lingered in certain areas, worrying me more. Finally, I asked, "do you see something suspicious". She said she found a lymph node, but that was normal.

Finally, the doctor came in. She was quick, but also lingered in the same area a while. She said "Ah! Fibrous tissue. Some people are just like that. It may come and go. I also see your lymph node, but that's benign. You can worry about that area if, at some point, you feel something hard like a pebble, but what you have is normal for some."

Phew. I felt so much relief. But, what about all those women there who might not be getting the same good news?

I was lucky that both my OBGYN and the doctor today wanted to be very thorough before dismissing the suspicious area as normal fibrous tissue. It's a good reminder that if you ever think something could be wrong, you should never be afraid to "waste time" in your day. All of you ladies - do your regular breast checks. If you can't tell if a lump you find is normal - go to your doctor. That's what they're there for.

Today's favorite things: thorough doctors and scientists working to find a cure for cancer

... realized I am in love with my iPhone.

I can't seem to do anything without my iPhone any more. I am an addict. I am in love. I never want to lose it, however, I might trade up for a newer model.

How I love my iPhone. Let me count the ways...

Besides all of the great basics - phone, Email, Internet, my iPhone wakes me up in the morning, oh so gently with it's cute little Marimba ring tone - not the awful blare of an alarm clock. It even lets me snooze if I choose.

I get in the shower and use iTunes to entertain me. As I get ready in the morning and start thinking about my to do lists I can jot them down in the notes section before I forget. My little iPhone keeps track of everything from my grocery lists to clients' latest needs.

On the way to work my little love tells me if the highway is too jammed and I should take surface streets.

I recently downloaded my new favorite application that allows me to record voice notes or meetings. I have found it invaluable with my bosses who often come spout out some brilliant suggestion, which I usally only retain 1/10 of. Now I can record everything they say. Yes, I do tell them I am recording.

I never leave my little iPhone behind. I take him to the gym and wear him on my arm to play my latest audio book that makes me forget I am even on the treadmill.

When I head home and want to find a recipe for a quick delicious dinner I can look up a 15 minute recipe from Rachel Ray and my little iPhone becomes my little cookbook.

My iPhone even entertains my child. At only 4 1/2 she already has the phone figured out. Whenever she is bored in the car or we are waiting in line she asks for my phone so she can use the Magic 8 Ball, Lightsaber or sketch a little drawing.

I use the iPhone camera more than my own digital anymore because it's always with me and so easy to send pictures to my friends and family - or a mobile upload to my Facebook page. It also syncs all my photos together on my computer.

After I turn out all the lights in the house, my little iPhone helps me see in the dark with the Flashlight application.

I get into bed and set the alarm again. Goodnight little iPhone. I love you.

Does anyone have that kind of love for their Blackberry or Trio? Didn't think so. Buy Apple.

Today's favorite things: All things Apple, Rachel Ray, fast and delicious recipes

...realized - I hate my neighbor's dog.

I like dogs. I've always liked dogs. As neighbors, I mostly like dogs on their own property or on a leash, unless they are very friendly.

My new neighbor has a big black lab who is not friendly. He barks constantly when he is in his back yard if he can hear me in mine. He used to live on a farm and was free to roam as he chose. Now he lives in a small house on a small lot and finds his way out of the fence. I know this because I either find a new pile of dog poo in my yard every day or he comes charging at me bearing his teeth when I go outside.

My main issue is that I have a 4-year-old daughter who likes to walk across the street to her grandparent's house. We live on a quiet culd-e-sac and that shouldn't be a problem, but what if he came running after her? I don't know that he wouldn't see her as a threat to his territory.

When I became a Mom, I became rabidly protective of my child. I want my neighbor to fix her fence and make sure her dog is never off his leash if he is with her. Why aren't some dog owners more respectful? I don't want to dislike my neighbor, but my disliking of her dog is getting me there pretty quickly. I'll let you know how my friendly recommendation to her goes. Stay tuned...

Today's favorite things: fences that lock and dog owners that understand their dog isn't as nice to everyone else as they are to their owners.

...and thought - "What happened to Nordstrom's famous customer service?"

Three weeks ago I was on the hunt for a new ring. I figured it was time I bought one for myself - a nice one, one that meant something. I found a great one at Nordstrom. It was beautiful and big, just like I like. It was rose gold and had "love" in several different languages etched into the design. It was unique. It would stand out. Perfect.

However, they didn't have it in my size at the store. The attendant said she would find one at another store and have it sent to me. It would arrive in 5-10 days.

3 weeks later it still hasn't arrived. When I've called Nordstrom they've been helpful – calling around to find out where the ring was. They did everything right on their end EXCEPT the corporate office decided to switch from FedEx to DHL.

Now, I am sure they benefit from a great cost savings between the two, but in my opinion it was a very bad business decision. I had the same frustration with DHL two years ago when I ordered from Amazon and vowed to never do it again.

Nordstrom has a reputation - even at an urban legend level - for the very best customer service. But, do they deserve it any more? I'm not so sure. If they are supposed to be the best at serving customers, why would they select the cheapest delivery provider? In the end, will there be a real cost savings? Doubtful, because people will want to stop ordering from them if delivery is so frustrating. I won't order from them again until they switch back.

It may seem I am picking on Nordstrom a bit too hard, but bad customer service is one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially when companies should realize how easy it is for customers to publish their frustrations for the world to see...

...went for a run in my new favorite park.

I don't know how I never heard about this park in the 3 years I have lived in the area, but it's my new favorite place to run (and it's where I took Meagan for the picnic yesterday).

Happy Valley park was built next to wet lands that have been preserved and beautified by the Eagle Scouts and other financial contributors. I love running there because you feel like you are in the middle of a little forest. I can run longer and farther than I do anywhere else because I forget I'm even working out. Twice I've even seen a cute little bunny dart in and out of the bushes. You would never know the park sits in between massive Happy Valley housing developments.

Today, it was blasted hot, so I cut through the park mid-run and ran through the fountain to cool off. Nice feature! I probably totally freaked out the kids playing in it though(:

I should be careful not to tell too many people about because it's harder to feel like you are all alone when other people join you on the narrow path. So - shhh. Keep this secret between us.

Today's favorite things: Happy Valley Park and Coffee

...took my daughter to a picnic.

I scheduled a playdate for Meagan with her best friend – Maddie. I planned a little picnic at Happy Valley Park and the girls played and ate as they wished.

I brought fruit, veggies, crackers - but what the did the girls want? Anything with a Disney character on the package or whatever included enough sugar to rot their remaining baby teeth.

As a Mom, I initially thought it was over the top that Disney had branded yogurt, cereal and other foods. Then, of course, I ended up with one of the pickiest kids in the country. One of the only ways I can get her to ingest yogurt is if the package has Kim Possible or Hannah Montana on it. The Jonas Brothers are becoming equally effective . Yes, I still think it's ridiculous that there isn't a product category Disney isn't competing in, but it hasn't stopped me from buying into it.

Will I be Mother of the Year? No. That's OK. Meagan had a great day with her best friend and I brushed her teeth.

So Disney - keep on branding food. In fact, could you start branding spinach and carrots? Even better - could you rename my favorite sushi restaurant and post a life sized cut out of Hannah and Joe Jonas eating a tuna sushi roll together?

wished the election was already over.

Ugh... I am so tired of all this back and forth that doesn't really mean anything. I wish we could just get on with election day and have Barack as our new president.

I have to admit, I was kind of intrigued that Sarah Palin might have tried to pull of a Bree on Desperate Housewives maneuver - faking a pregnancy to protect her daughter, but it doesn't seem to be true. Now it's just back to bashing the other party for issues all just come out sounding like "blah, blah, blah" at this point.

It's gotten to where I just turn the channel whenever I see a candidate giving a speech or a new political ad airs.

Something is going to have to change with these elections so people don't just tune them out at this stage in the campaigns.

I don't think it's just me.

...got on the scale

Ugh. Why did I eat that left over chocolate cupcake from a five-year-old's birthday party? Why can't we just enjoy good food?

Here's what I need - more time in the day to go to the gym so I can eat all the yummy food I want to. That will just require that a few more hours be added to the 24 hour day. Is that too much to ask for?

It seems like days fly by with barely enough time to fit everything in you want to do.

I get up (very early) and try to get ready before my daughter wakes up. As soon as she wakes up I get her breakfast before helping her dress for school. We race off (always leaving a few minutes later than planned).

Then it's off to work for me where there is a whole different list of to dos I can never seem to catch up on. It's like going from one undone to do list to the next. If I am lucky enough to sneak away to the gym my day is so much better. Somehow that makes everything else seem doable.

After, my day at work I race back home, get a quick dinner on the table and rush outside to try to get a little work done in the yard. Boy, that's another thing you can never catch up on.

By the end of day, I just want to sit on the couch, watch some America's Next Top Model and eat a big piece of chocolate cake. You know what? I think I'll go get a piece now...

…thought today was a good day to start a blog.

Why not?

I know I am several years behind and everyone else already has one, but hey – I thought I’d throw my 2 cents out there.

I figure – I’m full of opinions. I have a lot to say. Random thoughts constantly run through my head. Why not broadcast them to the world?

So here it is world - welcome to my head.

If your interested in a working Mom’s trivial observations of daily minutia, stay tuned…